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    August 15

    临近OVER,杂乱的心情

    终于要收拾收拾回学校了,在HW折腾了快一年,提前一个月闪人,一方面是着急回来做论文,另一方面就是有点熬不住了,想和上一批的一起回来,不然一个人天天早起上班,加班,有点小无聊,索性放弃那一个月的工资,闪人好了。
     
    回想这一年,零零散散写了一些日记,是怕自己忘掉,因为现在脑子确实不大灵光。从开始惧怕所有的未知,到现在自己可以独挡一小面,未知的东西依然很多,但是俺不再慌乱了。
     
    这300多个日子,遇到了很多好人,然而我这一闪可能以后就再也不会联系了,同事的关系和同学差很多,在一起工作是同事,离开了就只能是干巴巴的回忆,可能以后的某一天,他们会说起来我,如果他们想起我的时候是微笑着的,我也就满足了。
     
    想总结一下收获和不足,但是脑袋突然一片模糊,有点苍白,我依然是以前那个很以物喜很以己悲的缺乏自信的人,没啥大的进步和改善。
     
    我实习开始的时候,妈妈没有退休,我实习结束的时候,妈妈已经开始慢慢努力去习惯退休的生活,她不喜欢没有工作,她害怕寂寞和无聊,不得不凑到那些比她要老的,退休很多年的人堆里,然后慢慢去接受自己已经变老的事实,去习惯她们的生活方式,我觉得好残酷,然后天天都打电话给她,问问她每天都在做什么,听到她说她打麻将了,跳舞了,我会觉得舒服一些,但是依然有些苦涩在里面。去接受父母慢慢变老,真的是很痛苦很痛苦的事情。
     
    心情不怎么好,语句也不怎么通,天气还很热,离开在两周之后。
     
     
     
     

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    轶彬wrote:
    退休以后可以有时间发展一下自己的兴趣爱好,好多人都羡慕退休的呢
    Sept. 30

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